Everybody Wants To Be a Cat
by die Otter
Summary: Young warriors of Asgard love to go on mysterious and dangerous quests. But not all of them... or do they?


**A/N This is a translation of my Polish story. English is not my mother tongue, if you see any errors, let me know. With huge thanks to the lovely Devika (devikafernando on tumblr) for beta reading. 3**

 **And yes, you guessed it right, the title is borrowed from Disney's "The Aristocats" ;)**

* * *

Something moved in the bushes, making the leaves rustle. Thor hesitated for a second, then bravely pushed himself to the front, ready to shield his companions, proudly sticking out his still not wide enough chest. Sif simply snorted and ignored his attempts, moving forward to stand next to him, her hand resting on the hilt of her sword. It didn't matter that the sword was made of wood, because none of them were yet allowed to use real weapons outside the training yard. Last week during one of their regular sparrings she had almost knocked one of Fandral's teeth out with it, so she was convinced that even a wooden sword could be deadly in her hands.

"Do you think it's a troll?" Volstagg asked worriedly.

"I thought you said you know this forest like the back of your hand," Sif pointed out.

Fandral eyed their oldest friend with a bit of mockery.

"Are you afraid?"

"Me? Never!" Volstagg sounded offended. "I simply thought that were anything to happen to us, no one in the palace knows where to look for us."

"Loki knows," said Thor, still staring suspiciously at the bushes, where something moved once again. "There is also Heimdall, but I do not think his help will be necessary…"

"You told Loki where we are going?" Fandral asked indignantly.

"He did not seem interested anyway. He prefers his books," Thor explained with a hint of disdain.

"And I think he's simply still angry with us that we refused to take him along to that hunt," stated Sif.

Volstagg shrugged.

"He should be thanking us. At least he avoided your father's…" he stopped, because there was another rustle and suddenly a slim tomcat with huge green eyes and shining black fur burst out of the bushes and into the clearing.

Thor burst out laughing.

"Here is your troll."

"It is so charming!" exclaimed Sif, instantly letting go of her sword. "Puss puss, little one, come here!"

The cat completely ignored her. It circled the whole group, its step full of pride, its tail raised high, and it sent them a look of such superiority as if it was not a cat at all, but the troll they were worried about.

"Look, it glares at us just like your father, Thor," chuckled Fandral.

"So if there are wild cats here, does it mean no trolls?" added Volstagg, his voice filled with badly concealed relief.

"It does not seem wild to me," answered Sif, still following the cat, determined to pet it. "It is so beautiful and neat."

Apparently, the cat was not completely tame though, because in this very moment it hissed angrily at the girl, its fur ruffled, and she finally gave up her attempts. Instead, she simply shrugged and went back to her friends.

"A cat is just a cat," stated Thor, as if voicing her thoughts. "Let us go on. We have to reach the springs and come back home before night."

They went on, passing by the cat, which was now sitting on a fallen tree, playing idly with its tail. They didn't go far when they realized that the animal was following them though.

"Hey, maybe the trolls sent him as a spy?" Volstagg asked.

Sif just sent him a look and he shut up.

After an hour or so they got used to the sight of the animal, which appeared and disappeared as it wished but still seemed to accompany them. Finally they reached their destination, the Rainbow Springs. Tired, they sat down on the rocks to rest, staring at the water that sparkled with a thousand of colours. To their surprise, the cat passed indifferently by Sif and Fandral, then lay down next to Thor. It lowered its black head to drink some of the multicoloured water, and it did not protest when Odinson reached out tentatively to pet its back.

"Look, it likes me!" he exclaimed proudly.

"It is probably because of your animal magnetism," joked Fandral.

Thor frowned.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked in a serious tone.

Sif snorted quietly.

"I mean your bear-like strength, of course," answered Fandral quickly.

This time the snort came from the cat's direction, but nobody noticed it.

Having rested, the four friends swam for some time in the colourful water, then reluctantly got ready to head back. The cat disappeared somewhere again, apparently bored with their company. They did not get too far though when they realized that the forest was getting alarmingly dark.

"Listen, do you remember when exactly the sun set?" asked Sif, unsuccessfully trying to see the sky between the thick branches.

"I can't remember," Volstagg admitted, unwittingly quickening his pace. It had been years since trolls had been seen in this area, but still he did not feel like remaining in the forest after dusk.

Thor did not look worried though.

"Do you think we would not be able to defeat a troll? There are four of us and we are no helpless civilians!"

"But we only have training swords," Sif pointed out.

"Still, with our intelligence combined with Thor's and Volstagg's muscles, we can fight anyone!" Fandral exclaimed, reaching for his sword and swirling it in the air to emphasize his words.

"If only I had Mjolnir already…" muttered Thor in a dreamy tone.

The others met his words with a simultaneous groan.

"Yes, we know. You would destroy your enemies, and your name would be remembered in songs for the centuries to come," Sif finished for him. "What a pity it will not happen for at least a few more years," she summed up mercilessly.

"It is not fair," Thor complained. "Loki has had his powers since he was born. Why do I have to wait for mine until I am grown up?"

"Yours, however, will be much more useful," Volstagg assured him.

"Of course," Fandral agreed. "I do not think Loki would be able to destroy his enemies with his magic tricks."

"I am sure he would not," Thor laughed at least. "He could at most disappear and mislead them for so long that they would simply get bored with his game and leave."

Sif also wanted to join in with a mocking comment but she closed her mouth when she spotted their feline companion again. This time it was not following them like before; it stood in the middle of the path in front of them, blocking their way.

"Be gone!" Volstagg yelled at it, but the cat did not move.

"Go away!" Fandral joined him. He raised his leg as if to kick, but the animal glared at him in such a manner that he immediately changed his mind.

"Listen, it looks as if it is trying to tell us something," Sif observed.

"Are you serious? It is just a cat," Thor snorted. He walked up to the animal, squatted down in front of it and spoke in a slow and clear manner: "Go away and let us pass."

"Get lost!" he added more vehemently when the cat ignored him. "Do you know who I am? I am Thor Odinson, the prince of this land, and I am ordering you to leave!".

"Why are you talking to it? It is just a cat," Sif mocked him. "Come on, we can walk around it, cannot we?"

But as they moved on, the cat jumped ahead and blocked their path again, hissing angrily when they did not stop.

"What is wrong with it?" Fandral asked, frowning irritably.

Sif froze and raised her hand, telling him to be quiet.

"Shh, do you hear it?"

There was a regular rumble somewhere in the distance.

"Trolls!" Volstagg moaned, gazing around in fear.

"Even if it is them, they are still quite far away," Thor reassured him.

"Maybe, but they are exactly between us and the palace," Sif observed, still listening.

"Trolls do not have good hearing, and the forest is thick here. If we walk very quietly and carefully, we might be able to pass them by without being noticed," said Thor.

"Look at the cat, it looks as if it wants to lead us," the girl pointed at the animal, which had already walked ahead and was now waiting patiently, sending them expectant glances. When Sif spoke those words, it meowed in confirmation.

Thor hesitated only for a short while.

"Agreed, let us follow the cat," he decided.

* * *

Loki stormed into the palace, passing unnoticed by the chatting guards, then he jumped up and climbed the drainpipes and the parapets to the floor where his and Thor's chambers were located. He entered the dark and empty room through the open window, quietly discarded the spell and then lit the nearby candles with a simple gesture of his hand. He hardly managed to lie down on the couch in a pose of lazy boredom, a book open in his lap, when his brother stormed into the room. Thor was dirty and panting, but his face was bright with excitement.

"Loki, you will not believe what happened today!"

"I have no idea," Loki answered in a tone that was a perfect mixture of indifference and irony. "Were you told that knocking before you enter someone's chambers is no longer a requirement? Because as far as I know it still is."

Thor had heard similar comments often enough to learn to be deaf to them.

"We have met trolls!" he exclaimed, unceremoniously pushing his brother's long legs out of the way to sit down next to them on the couch. "A whole bunch of them. Even some young ones! They must have been heading to the mountains in search for new caves to live in."

"And what happened next? Did they run away screaming when you showed them your bravery and skill?" Loki turned the page, still stone-faced.

Thor looked down, disconcerted, visibly waiting to see what would win the fight — pride or honesty.

"They did not see us," he finally admitted. "We passed them by quietly."

This time Loki glanced up from the book, slightly raising his right brow.

"Oh. Congratulations," he answered shortly, so that it was impossible to say if he meant it as a complement to their good sense or rather as a mockery.

Thor apparently choose the first option, because, still grinning, he reached for the book, pulled it from his protesting brother's hands and threw it on the floor.

"Come on, Loki, I'll tell you the whole story during supper. I am so hungry that I could eat a whole troll!"

"I would not, if I were you. Trolls have stone-like skin. Are you positive that you saw at least one?" Loki held out his hand and the book obediently flew back to it. "Forgive me, brother, but I have a very interesting paragraph here and I am dying to read the rest of it. I am sure your expedition was fascinating though." And he pretended to bury himself in the book once again.

Thor complained for a while longer, but finally he gave up and left, probably to join his friends who would be happy to listen to his bragging. And, Loki thought, it was good that his brother was so occupied with his little adventure, because it was only after Thor had left when he noticed that half of the floor of his chamber was covered with the little muddy prints left by a cat's paws. Next time he would have to be more careful.

THE END


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